Even when I was still very young and fast growing, I was so much interested in the lifestyle of our chicken. We had a lot of chicken, thanks to our main Cock, Moi. This cock screwed hens in that compound the whole day, sometimes my mother had to restrict it in the chicken coop at least for some hours to let the hens cool down a bit before it could be released to resume its official duties. I think it's one of those cocks that can keep a wife... Sorry... a hen. Moi didn’t have competition, it had drawn the boundaries of its territories that no other cocks could cross. It’s because of its cruel nature that my father had even decided to lease our other two cocks, Raila and Kenyatta to our uncle Gilbert to avoid further confrontation. Even our neighbours loved it and once or twice a month, my father’s friend Ogwang’ would borrow our cock to go and spend the night at their place with their chicken. I’m sure that the business that would go down there would leave the hens sweating the whole night. Yes, Moi wasn’t one of those cocks that got cowed with a hen refusing to be submissive; I can count of about seven instances when I had to pull it from the hill forcefully.
So Moi
crows in the morning, a command that stretches across fifty homesteads. It’s
time to wake up, the day has begun. My village of Kawuor sits
at the centre of Kobala, the land of my
grandfathers. Kobala overlooks Lake Victoria, a once clear massive
lake that formed the main part of our childhood. We were sons of the Lake, fed
by the lake and breathed the breeze from the lake. A few of my clansmen would
get lost in the lake, if they didn’t die fishing, then they ‘got lost’ fishing.
In Luo Land when we say you’ve gotten lost in the lake it could mean you are
drunk with fish money, spent it on a few bootylicious women who Luos are never
short of and failed to reach home to give a share of what you’ve sold.
Boat
owners were the richest, fishermen were the most respected. If a certain
fisherman had a beef with your family you’d never buy fish from him, not even
on your knees. You’d go hungry. Going hungry for a man from Kobala is
simply having a meal with no component of fish, not even Fish’s
grandchildren Omena. Now you can imagine some of the
normal kinds of beef in the village, like your cow having invaded the
shamba of Otieno the previous day and chewed quarter of maize
growing in his field. With news that it is Otieno’s boat that has just docked
at Alara beach the following day with a good amount of fish, you’d just
consider yourself a hungry man.
Our
beaches had a lot of trade going on, good kibandas for nyoyo, uji and mandas as
we call mandazis back at home. Women bathed by the shores, nobody cared about
what was seen, I think this is where the term ‘mali ya umma’ originated. You’d
not be surprised to see the mother to your friend Onyango smearing herself
with pado, the Jamaa soap, rub herself with her
bathing net until she is all foam then run into the lake and swim around as she
rinses her body. But Min Onyango would scream from the lake
that something has caught her leg. The first thing that comes to your mind if
you are from the lakeside is that there must be a crocodile around and that
Mama Onyango is just about to be cut in half.
Everyone
who was swimming is suddenly fighting his/her way out of the water. You may be
a good swimmer until you hear there is a crocodile in the area, Mama Onyango is
wailing and some people suddenly do not want to swim out of the water, they
have turned to pray for miracles asking for wings to jump out of the lake
Min
Onyango is kicking in water, she’s shouting at the top of her voice that the
animal seems to be holding her legs under water.
This
thing has caught her leg. At this point, nobody cares that she’s nude.
This is not the time that you act embarrassed when you see her breasts jumping
up and down. Trust me, there are others following the scene as a great cinema.
But don’t be surprised when it finally emerges that there was no crocodile at
all in the first place but just a joker practising his
underwater breathing skills who had decided to give Min Onyango a good scare.
He pops out of the water and laughs out loud at the shaking woman… “You
can’t be this scared! Hahaha…”
Nobody is
amused. In fact, people are asking questions. Questions like “What did he
see while he was down there?” “Why did he stay that long? Why was he holding
her leg… wait a minute, both legs?” There are some questioning the position of
his head and eyes while he was down there holding the legs of Min Onyango.
“It’s not easy to hold both legs firmly when you are under water
unless you have both legs spread above you” at least there is an old man heard
saying that as he whistles and walks away.
A few
young men wear the look of jealousy as the ‘crocodile’ and the victim walk out
to the shore, some cursing their lack of creativity. This crocodile guy has
just had his free lunch, everyone knows he has fed his eyes.
His baraza guys are waiting for him to bring the sweet news home.
This is a story that must be told when they get to play ajwa under the Ng’ou tree.
The baraza guys call themselves Jobez.
Ajwa literally pushes time. Men discuss women; those
with the biggest bum bums in the village, the ones who have just been
impregnated, who have dropped out of school, the odhi oduogos…
those are the village girls married but divorced or just came back. It’s believed
in Kobala that the only reason a woman can come back home after
dumping her husband is hunger, I mean the real hunger, not the normal night
starvation that some couples who have gotten used to each other often subject
themselves to. The story of Careen, the only daughter
of Oduma who just got married six months ago and went to the city
with his husband but has been seen in the village for the past two weeks sneaks
into the discussion.
“I’ve
seen your wife around Michael,” Ouma knocks on Michael’s shoulder in a
flattering way. Michael is married to Nya Kano and Ouma
seeing his wife shouldn’t be an issue, after all telling a guy that you’ve seen
his wife is questionable, you must be having some interest. But Michael reads
from the smile on the side cheeks of Ouma and he knows there must be something
cheeky behind that smile. He calls him Ous, a partner in crime. They have been
friends since childhood and screwed uncountable number of village
girls but Michael has never ceased reminding Ous of his sweet Careen, the
sweetest village girl he has ever had. At least they dated for 4 years, that’s
a long period to date a girl in the village with all those obvious obstacles
including sneaking out a girl from their home at night, dogs barking at you and
yes… meeting the area chief patrolling the area with a whip in his hand, you
would have to be a good runner not to be caught by him. And even if you were to
run away, just to be safe, you would have to confuse him and not jump over the
fence back to your home since it would be easy to trace you the following day,
you would have to jump into someone else’s compound to confuse the chief then
jump over on the other side of the compound before proceeding to your home.
The worst
that can ever happen to you is jumping into someone’s compound and get attacked
by a dog. That would be a double tragedy. So before going ‘hunting’ at night,
one would have to make a proper survey of the area the girl lives, mark the
hostile territories and battlegrounds, map out the possible exits in case
of an ambush, agree with your girlfriend on time and how you will communicate
that you are already out waiting for her. Most of the time one would have to
pelt small stones on the roof of the girl’s house or maybe sneak to their
window and whisper her name. she would have already told you where she sleeps
in the house, or if you were lucky enough she would be sleeping in her
brother’s Simba, some distance from her parent’s house which
gives you a due advantage. You wouldn’t be stressed getting her outside
the house unless they have a dog or out of nowhere your girl gets sleepy and
gets to the dream land. Sorry mate, this is one of those nights you go back
home without a bite, you live to eat another day.
But
Michael had beaten all these odds with Careen for four years. His
only scare all this time had been a python which was said to have been
frequenting the dry river which was the pass to Careen’s home. But
the Kobala people can be funny at times, Michael can tell you why.
The dreaded dry river would host funny people and behaviors at times, actually
even the said python could as well been a full human being with two thin legs,
plus the normal unsaid third leg if that guy he found in the dark thickets of
the river with that woman he couldn’t see her face one of those nights were to
be mentioned. That night Mike saw a dim light from the thickets while going
down the river to fetch Careen. There was some shushing of leaves and someone
was moaning! Ai! This wasn’t normal, let’s say a python can’t moan, right? And
if it moans, there must be something sweet it is feeling, I wonder if
scientists have ever done research on instances where a python can moan. For
humans, we know they moan when sweetness gets to their head…. Yes,
that was the sound Michael was hearing, at least earlier than he thought since
he was expecting to be the beneficiary of this kind of sound about 30 minutes
later after picking Careen. He had to see this.
Now there
is something about men and sex; they like watching. The feeling of just
catching these people in the darkness excited Michael more than any other
thing. So he sneaks deeper into the thickets hurriedly and fails to notice a
broken piece of plastic basin which tips him over leaving him kissing
the dry sand in a fraction of a second. Damn! Well, the ‘wild animals’ enjoying
themselves in the thicket seem to have been obstructed
from finalising their meal, could be the worst feeling ever! There
are some things on this earth that you must leave to end before you disrupt,
imagine getting to cloud 8.5, just 0.5 to be at 9 then some fool disrupts you.
You think you are the only one with serious calls of duty in dry rivers in the
middle of the night only to realise that this is a homestead for
mischief.
Michael
is confronted with a bright spotlight on his face, there is no doubt this is
the spotlight of the chief. Wait a minute… was it the chief in the thicket? Oh
yes, he’s hiding a woman behind him.
“Chi..chi..chie..”
Michael is weighing whether to announce to the chief that he actually knows him
or assume that the spotlight is too bright for him to see his sweaty face.
“Chieth. Sut up!”
the chief interjects. He is wondering what this idiot is doing in the bush.
“You are
the son of Apondi, right? Sindio Kijana?” The chief continues moving
closer to Michael, his left hand moving the trouser a bit, he seems to be
adjusting his trouser.
“What are
you doing in the bushes at night? Huh?” the chief still throwing his questions.
At the
back of his mind, Michael feels that either of them can ask this question, but
then this is the chief. He can as well assume that the chief had been signing
some birth certificate application forms and that the sound he had mistaken
for moaning was actually just but squeaking sound produced between
the paper and the pen signing the documents.
“I’m
looking for our goats.” It’s the first thing that comes out of Michael’s mouth.
“Kijana
don’t take us stupid. You know we have played these games before…”
“Whi… whi which
games? I’m looking for ….”
“Wewe…”
the chief shakes the spotlight more on Michael’s eyes.
“Wacha niamke keso nipate ng’ombe ya mtu imeibwa. Utatupea hiyo ng’ombe, Nyasachiel.”
Michael
knows the game is over. The chief has won. No fun for tonight.
As he
walks back home, one of the longest walks he has ever had before, he is
imagining his sweet Careen waiting for him to knock on the
window. Careen must be getting angry now and cursing why Mike had to
lie to him that he was coming then fail to keep his word. At a time like this,
a man can only fantasise how sweet and long the night would have
been. Michael regrets following the river route. He could have as well followed
that path next to Konyach primary, yes it could have been a longer route
but obviously wouldn’t have transpired to this.
Michael’s
mind is so full that he fails to notice in the darkness the figure coming fast
in front of him… it’s like a wind! The guy coming in full speed stumbles
against Michael and they both find themselves on the ground. Michael can smell
blood… he’s bleeding on the nose. That was fast. Now all these years of his
night hunting he had never met a night runner, today must be his lucky day! The
other guy is groaning in pain down there. Michael looks closer… this guy is
naked. A smile forms on his cheeks… “So you guys always do it naked?” It’s too
dark but the eyes have gotten used to the darkness, he moves closer to the guy.
Which part of the body to touch is a problem, you have to be careful lest you
find yourself holding the wrong parts only meant for people of opposite sex.
But wait
till you turn the head of this fella only to see Careen’s bearded father
looking straight at you. You can only say thank you, Lord, that you’ve
never been unlucky enough to find the father of your girlfriend off duty.
Michael decided to cover his surprise by covering his mouth. In LuoLand, when
you meet a night runner that you know, you don’t call out his name unless you
want to be dead. They are feared to have the powers to cast a spell on those
who meet them in their line of duty and recognise them. The spell can
make you a retard. But before Michael could even think of uttering a single
word, the guy was gone. What a final date. What a night. This is the sand land.
Not many get to meet the chief cheating on his wife in the bushes at midnight
then get knocked by his ‘father-in-law’ who is out for some physical exercise
with his birth suit.
Omollo
has just won the first round of the Ajwa and Ouma
is next. He looks at his friend Michael with his normal cheeky smile. Michael
smiles back. He knows Ouma can be stupid at times, but why bring up
this Careen Atieno’s issue at the Ajwa?
“I told
you Michael” Ouma pats his friend on the shoulder as he takes the place of Soja
who has just been beaten in the game. “Nyathi Jajuok en Jajuok.”
The young one of a snake is a snake. “Careen being married for six months and
coming back, She might have just lacked enough space in the city to exercise
her special inherited skills Michael. Si you know this work of night
running needs enough
space. Hapo Nairobi naskia kila compound iko na gate, na hii kazi ya
Careen na baba yake inataka open air osiepa.”
The baraza is
on. It’s just one of those beautiful days for JoKobala.
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